Back To Dawson.....

NELLY'S BIG DAY

When I got back from th' bus station I parkt th' car and walkt over t' Missus Akkerson's house. We sat aroun' th' kitchen table an' I helt Bluebird on my lap as I tol' them about meetin' my ma an' how she come t' killin' my daddy an' went t' jail all these years.
"I never likt Bobby John," Missus Akkerson said. "But when he come throuh town he swept Jolie off her feet. I tolt 'er he weren't good fer nothin', but she jus' said I was jealous. I guess she fount out th' hard way. I don' rightly wish anybody t' git shot in th' head, but I reckon if anybody mighta deservt it, it woulda been Bobby John. I'm sorry t' say such a thing, Daw, bein' he was yer daddy, but I swear he was born bad." I nodded.
"Somehow, it don' seem t' hurt me much, 'cause I believe what Jolene tolt me about 'im. I do wonner what 'is last name was thouh, an' where he hailed from." Nelly's mama said she never knew Bobby John's las' name but there was prob'ly some way t' find out.

I was still talkin' about th' experience when me an' Nelly turnt in that night with Bluebird squirmin' between th' two of us. Nelly was right sweet t' jus' lie there an' lissen, an' run 'er fingers throuh my hair.

Nelly gradiated with honors. Not only was she th' bes' speler, but she was voted mos' likely t' succeed at somethin'. An' they askt her t' say somethin' t' her classmates. There was a hunert and fifteen of 'em that year. Twict as many as when I gradiated. Mos'ly it was on account of all the Round Town kids bein' added in t' th' school. It was kinda strange 'cause I use' t' know ever' kid in th' school, and now they lookt like a lot of strangers.

Nelly stood up in fron' of ever'body, an I could tell she was a bit scart.
"I jus' wanna say this is one of my happies' times in my life. An' I wanna espeshuly thank Missus Shire who kep' me keep agoin' when I jus' wanted t' give up." Ever'body clappt when she said that.
"An' I guess ever'body knows me an' Daw had us a baby along th' way. We didn' ezackly mean fer that t' be th' case, but I wouldn' ever wish t' change the fact at this point. But I wanna say, it weren' easy. It was hard, real hard. So, if'n ye fin' yer self thinkin' you wanna have you a baby too, ye' might wanna think that one over another time or two. Ye' can't hardly git any sleep at night. Ye can't jus' decide ye wanna jus' play aroun' all affernoon. Ever'thing, an' I mean ever'thing changes. An' ye can't wish it away, an' ye can't run away. I love my liddle baby an' wouldn' change a thing, but if yer thinkin' its jus' a barrel of fun, it ain't. I ain't gonna preach at ye. Yer th' same as me. But, I am tellin' ye, ye better think twict. Thank you, an' I'm gonna miss you all."

I was right proud of Nelly that day, an' it made me think a lot about all th' times when I was off t' th' island tryin' t' figure out a life, an' all those times Nelly was there at home lookin' after Bluebird, an' tryin' t' git her homework done. An' ever'thing she said t' all them kids was th' truth. As if that weren't enuf fer one day, I set Bluebird down on th' grass t' hug Nelly, an she pullt 'erself up by my pant leg, an' took off walkin' throuh th' crowd teeterin' all over amidst a world of giant people. Bluebird had a gradiation of 'er own.

GRAVIDY

One thing I did learn about in school is this invisibl' force callt gravidy. Gravidy is this thing that keeps ever'thing down on th' ground instead of flyin' off inta th' air. A coupla years back, th Russians sent a big ball up inta space an' it didn' come back down. They callt it Spudnik, I guess 'cause it lookt like a 'tater. Anyways it jus' stayt up there floatin' aroun' fer a coupla years, but finally th' fingers of gravidy found it, an' pullt it back down.

An' it ocurrt t' me that places like Shrewsbury or any place ye been mos' yer life has a kind of gravidy of its own. An' ever'time I drove off t' th' island, I could somehow feel th' tug of Shrewsbury on me, wantin' t' pull me back. Don' know how many times I went back an' forth, an it seemt ever'time I turnt aroun' an' come back I made real good time 'cause of th' gravidy pullin' me back. Maybe even people got some kinda gravidy of their own. People get stuck on each other 'cause of that. Th' way I'm stuck on Nelly, an' she's stuck on me. An' even though my own mama lef' me all these years, an' even though I don't rightly know ezackly who she is, there seemt some kinda gravidy there when I firs' saw her. I don' know how t' describe it, but I know somehow I felt it.

BLUEBIRD'S BES' PRESENT

Robin Bluebell was about t' turn one year olt, an' me an' Nelly decided we should have that day in Shrewsbury, even thouh we was both feelin' ready t' try t' make th' move t' th' island. An' it even felt more important now on accoun' of Jolene. I think it would be helpful t' her t' know she had a gran'baby in 'er life, so I was hopin' she'd be comin' fer Bluebird's birthday.

Jolene came that day. An' she came wearin' a wig that lookt outa a fashi'n magazene.
It kinda wrappt aroun' 'er neck in a smooth straight line, an' it had sev'rel colers of hair in it. She whispert t' me that she jus' didn' wanna come lookin' like she'd jus' been in jail fer fifteen years. I found it hard t' not keep starin' at 'er. Charlie an' Jolene hugged an' went on about how they knowed each other all these years. Uncle Blaine was bein' right gentlemanly offerin 'er his seat on th' sofa. An, Nelly pullt me over an' whispert that she thouht my mama was purty, an also tolt me that Bluebird musta got her liddle roun' chin from my ma. But best of all, an' mos' memerable, was Robin Bluebell sittin' on Jolene's lap an' they was playin' some han' clappin' game, an' then Jolene sorta sobbed a bit an' said,
"Never in my life....never in my life..." An I knew then an' there that gravidy had it's arms aroun' all of us. Jolene spent th' night with us. We made her a pallet on th' couch. I was happy that she was there that night even thouh she seemt still such a mystery t' me.

THE MORNIN' AFTER

When Bluebird fidgit'd an' kickt me an' Nelly outa bed like she always does in th' mornin', I could smell coffee perkin' an' Jolene was already up an' smokin' a cigarette out on th' front porch. She didn' have her wig on, so her short hair was all spiky an' stickin' out here an' there. She was sittin' on th' swing, barefooted an' wearin' a long white wrinklt cotton slip. She lookt skinny in th' shoulders, almos' bony. She stretcht 'er arms out an' yawned. I pushed th' screen door a bit an' poked my head out.
"G' mornin'!"
"Y' know," she said, "There was so many times sittin' in my cell I would imagine walkin' down this road an' my mama walkin' me t' school." She stood an' came towart me. "Bet th' coffee's ready 'bout now," she said.
We all sat aroun' th' kitchen table a good while. Jolene helt Bluebird on her lap, an' she an' Nelly took to talkin' about th' baby an' how sharp she was fer jus' bein' in the worl' liddle more th'n a year. Finally Jolene handed th' baby t' me.
"I reckon I oughta run down t' mama's. Do ye think she's doin' alright, Dawson?" That was th' firs' time she didn' call me Jeremy. I didn' even think about it at the time, but later lookin' back it seemt it meant somethin' t' me.
"Well, I reckon granny's doin' purty good. She took it purty hard when gran'daddy an' Aunt Arnelle died an' on th' same day. Uncle Blaine an' Charlie look affer her a lot," I replyt. Jolene was lookin' down at th' floor like she was deep in some kinda thouht, but noddin' her head like she was hearin' me.

Blaine drove Jolene t' the bus station that day an me an' Nelly tol' her we wanted her t' come an' see us when we get moved over t' th' island. Nelly seemt t' see some emptiness in me that affernoon an' she hugged me, an whispert,
"Its a lot, ain't it Daw?" I nodded.

ME AN' MY BABY, AN' TH' DEEP BLUE SEA

It took nigh onta two weeks fer me an' Nelly t' sort out stuff, an box stuff up, an' git ready t' move t' th' island. We soon realizt we was gonna have t' make two trips. We'd go t' th boathouse fer about a week an' get organized, then we'd come back an' git th' rest of our stuff. So, when we pullt out of Shrewsbury it weren't too hard sayin' goodbye since we'd be comin' back in a few days. I set up an orange crate on th' seat of th' truck between me an' Nelly fer Bluebird t' sit on an' that workt purty good e'cept Bluebird kept wantin' t' crawl onta her mama's lap an' poke 'er head out th' winder. Mos'ly thouh, we was drivin' throuh th' night, an' Bluebird was sleepin' in Nelly's arms. I realizt I was prob'ly gonna need t' get me a reg'lar car with a back seat purty soon.

IN THE BEGINNING

We pullt onta th' island jus' affer dawn, an'I rememb'r th' firs' thing we did when we got t' th' boathouse was t' jus' crumble onta th' mattress on th' floor and lay there.
"We're here, ain't we, Daw,?" Nelly askt, lookin' over at me. Bluebird was crawlin' aroun' on top of us.
"Uh huh," I said.
"An' ever' thing's gonna be ok, ain't it Daw?"
"Uh huh," I said again. Bluebird crawlt up on her mama an' took her face inta her tiny han's, an' lookt right inta her eyes.
"I'm hungwy, mama!" Nelly laught an' jumpt up. She open'd th' box granny an' Missus Akkerson had fixt fer us with sandwishes an' such. Then we all jus' sat aroun' on th' mattress eatin' bananas an' lookin' around. Somehow it seemt th' whole world was startin' over.

The nex' few days seemt fill'd with haulin' stuff inta th' boathouse, an' movin' stuff aroun'. Nelly hung th' curtains she'd made, we fixt up a liddle corner by a winder t' be Bluebird's corner with her bed, an' her toys, an' we fixt th' kitchen corner up t' Nelly's likin'. Th' place was startin' t' look purty crowded already. Rufus came by one day an' helpt me build a platform about four feet up over Bluebird's corner, an' we tosst me an' Nelly's mattress up there.

Saturday mornin' me an' Rufus went over th' Aunt Chovy. He'd already been scrapin' off loose paint an' blue an' green peels an' chips of it was all about. He had a good part of th' motor broke down too. Bluebird went a walkin' an' crawlin' all aroun' on th' boat an' in no time was the dirtiest chil' I ever saw. She had her firs' bath that affernoon in th' kitchen sink.

Sunday we spent on th' beach. We laught a lot at Bluebird splashin' about in th' surf an' shriekin' as th' waves would come rollin' in like they was about t' git her. Monday mornin' we headed back t' Shrewsbury.

TH' NEVER ENDIN' GOODBYE

When we got back t' Shrewsbury, I foun' Jolene sittin' at granny's table in th' kitchen talkin' to granny. Ever'body stood aroun' huggin' ever'body. Bluebird run aroun' from one grown-up t' another an' wasn' hurtin fer attenchin by a long shot. Uncle Blaine an' Charlie come by fer lunch, an' it seemt somehow like a Sunday affernoon. When we finally headed over t' Uncle Blaine's ol' place fer th' night, it was in the big mess we left it in. We put off any cleanin' and packin' of more stuff 'til th' mornin' an' turnt in.

I laid there holdin' Nell an' tolt her how Uncle Blaine had talkt t' me out in granny's yard about th' idea of turnin' his place over t' his sister, Jolene.
"He an' yer mama has decided t' fix her place up better an' they'd live there, an' he wanted Jolene t' come back t' Shrewsbury an' git her life started over," I said. Nelly thouht it was a good idea an' she said it would prob'ly make my granny happy too.
"An' then," she added, "whenever we came t' visit, Bluebird would have three grannys. Charlie, Jolene, an' granny." I jus' nodded but I didn' have th' words t' say about how happy I was t' think my mama had come home or about th' idea that maybe one day we might acshuly come t' know each other like nothin' ever happent.

Once we got th' last of our things packt inta th' truck, an' Uncle Blaine's place swept out nice an' neat, we walkt over t' granny's t' say goodbye again. It was harder this time, even thouh we promis't we'd come back one week in th' fall. Ever'body seemt happy an' a bit teary eyed at th' same time. It turnt inta a reg'lar parade with ever'body walkin' back with us t' th' truck. Then ever'body was huggin' ever'body agin. Uncle Blaine handed me an envelope an' tolt me t' read it later. Jolene kisst me on th' cheek an' then wipt it off with a smile, an' steppt back as we climbt inta th' truck. I heard granny call as I pullt away,
"Ya'll come back ye hear?" I pickt up speed as we rounded th' bend in the road an' I coul' feel th' gravidy of all my growin' up pullin' at me, an then lettin' go.

TH' TUNNEL OF LOVE

The drive into th' night settled down inta white lines an' stripes, an' bends in th' road, an' ever' now an' then, a car whizzin' by goin' th' other way. I pickt up a radio channel comin' from New Orleans. Nelly seemt sound asleep nex' t' me with Bluebird's head on her lap. Elvis come on th' radio.
"Since my baby lef' me, I foun' a new place t' dwell,
it's down at th' end of lonely street at the..." Nelly sat up straight all of a sudden, an' lookt over at me.
"Daw," she said. "Promise you'll never leave me."
I laught. "I ain't never gonna leave you, darlin'."
"You promise?" she askt.
"Yes. I promise."
"On yer granny's bible?"
"Yes, on my granny's bible, an' on yer granny's bible too."
Nelly lookt out th' winder. "I never knew my granny. But I think she was an atheist." She lookt down at Bluebird, an' run her fingers throuh Bluebird's hair. "I love you, Daw," she said, leanin' her head agins' th' pillow by th' door. She closed her eyes an' then started cryin'.
"I ain't never gonna leave ye' Nelly," I said quietly.
"I know," she sobbed, "I jus' miss my mama."
I thouht about my mother. It was a lot of mixed up thouhts. How me an' Axel got lef' there at th' end of lonely street. How she come back. How here I was now leavin' her. How it all was sorta grabbin' me an' shakin' me aroun'.
"I miss my mama too," I said t' Nelly, but I think she was asleep by then.