It was my mother who first taught me the importance of clean underwear. The emphasis was not so much on health or hygiene. The emphasis was on what people would think. So, how was it, that people would know? Well, her response was like this: Suppose you were in an accident. You would be rushed to the hospital. And there, they would remove your clothes. And they would discover that, not only are you injured, you also hadn't changed your underwear in days! They might not even take good care of you , and think, "Well, he had it coming!"
Sure enough, at the age of 12, running across a busy street in Chicago, I got hit by a car. I wound up in the hospital for two weeks. The first few days, they didn't have a room for me, so I was 'maintained' on a bed in the hallway. My mom came and took my clothes home for laundering. She held up my dingy underpants, and said, "See? If you had been wearing clean underwear, you'd probably have a room by now." Suffice it to say, I learned my lesson. I got my underwear act together.
Not too many years later, when I was borrowing my dad's car because I had a date, my dad would give me the keys. And then he'd give me a clean linen handkerchief. I didn't get it. He just shrugged, and said, "Never know. You might need it." And then, I have a vague recollection of being in the back seat of the car with this girl, and she said something like, "Wow, you have nice underpants." I think I said, "You have nice underpants too." Suddenly, I realized the importance of the handkerchief.
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2 comments:
My Dad was always mortified if he saw holes in our socks.
Dan, as I began reading this I immediately identified with you and your mother remarks . . . I had heard those words from my own mother.
Fortunately, I never had to learn the lesson the hard way . . . well, not in a hospital. Like you as a teenager I learned the advantages of having clean underwear and if not a clean handkerchief like Stickup clean socks without holes.
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